As the school year rhythm begins to settle I find that more of my clients' "true" personality comes out. It's so much fun getting to know a whole new batch of kids with their own quirks and thoughts. I feel I've been lucky to have pretty balanced caseloads as far as boy to girl ration. Even so, I still find myself struggling with how to explain certain concepts to boys.
I've gotten pretty good at the intro spiel. It's easy to explain to boys that they got screwed when it comes to emotional intelligence/social knowledge. Big generalization,I know, but if you're sitting in Ms. Maria's office it's safe to assume you're not the most well adjusted in the first place. These kids get that. I think these kids are happy to have someone acknowledge that at all and so they pardon Ms. Maria when she does lame imitations of socially pressuring situations that boys might face.
I consider myself an intelligent person. I'm pretty knowledgeable about kids in general but I just don't get how boys think. Why are farts so funny to them? Why DON'T they care about when their friends' birthday's are? Do boys gossip? Is it the same as "talking shit" or is there some other equivalent verbal interaction that aims to hurt? I mean I've studied a bunch of stuff that explains bits and pieces but there is no manual on "how boys experience the world."
Yes, males have a lot of privilege. BUT they are also severely deprived when it comes to social/emotional learning. People have been asking lately: What can we do to prevent violence/shootings/rape/robbery etc.? I think the answer is simple: teacher kids how to be human. Teach them that EVERYONE is human and has the same feelings they do. Then, and this is the most important part, DON'T LET THEM FORGET IT. No starts out wanting to do bad things. Stuff happens and we're all human, trying to make sense of things.
One of my clients impressed me the other day. I first met this kid 2 years ago. The first words they said to me were "School is not for me." Then, at school meeting I hear that they told the vice principal that their goal was to go to college. That simple statement, which may not seem so impressive to those of us lucky enough to have always seen this as an option, represented leaps and bounds of growth for this kid. I never once told this kid he HAD to anything (except not light things on fire, but that's another story) except not get kicked out of school and not go to jail. I helped him discover who he was as a person because, how do you know what you're capable of if you don't know what your foundation is?
